Uang Orangtua Uang Anak, Apakah Uang Anak Juga Uang Orangtua?

Kid earning money for future

Melly Kiong memulai dengan cerita keluarga seorang bapak yang kaya raya. Bapak tersebut mempunyai 6 anak yang semua berdomisili di luar negeri. Ketika si bapak jatuh sakit semua anaknya pulang untuk menjenguk. Karena bahagia, si bapak tersebut pun memberikan warisan ke keenam anaknya itu. Namun, ketika si bapak jatuh sakit kedua kalinya, hanya 2 dari anaknya yang datang pulang. Dalam kemarahan dan kekecewaannya, si bapak pun berkata bahwa warisan yang ia berikan belum semua. Maka pulanglah lagi keenam anaknya saat si bapak masuk rumah sakit untuk ketiga kalinya. Tapi ternyata, omongan si bapak hanyalah bohong dan sebenarnya ia sudah tidak punya harta untuk dibagikan.

Cerita diatas adalah satu dari banyak cerita serupa yang pasti pernah kita dengar. Soal anak yang cuma mau merawat orangtua  kalau ada iming-iming warisan atau sebaliknya orangtua yang hanya menganggap anak kalau si anak sudah bisa membalas secara finansial.

Pasalnya uang itu bukan segalanya tapi segalanya butuh uang.

Jadi bagaimana supaya uang tidak mengatur hubungan dalam keluarga?

Uang Orangtua Uang Anak

Menurut Maeya Zee, persepsi bahwa seorang anak cuma mau merawat orangtua kalau ada warisan itu tidak sepenuhnya benar. Karena mungkin saja ada faktor lain yang tidak diketahui sehingga si anak tidak mau merawat orangtua setelah atau sebelum menerima warisan.

Sebaliknya, Maeya Zee juga merasa bahwa bila hubungan orangtua dan anak itu baik maka anak pasti tetap akan merawat orangtua terlepas dari uang atau warisan.

Maka yang terpenting menurut pengalaman pribadi Meaya Zee adalah orangtua harus mengajar anaknya tentang nilai uang sejak dini dan jangan menilai anak dari kesuksesan finansialnya.

Uang Anak Juga Uang Orangtua?

Kalau ada anak yang hanya menginginkan warisan, ada juga orangtua yang menganggap anaknya seperti investasi. Jadi, anak dibesarkan dengan prinsip kedepannya harus bisa membalas budi secara finansial.

Pembesaran yang seperti ini membuat anak sangat sensitif kalau orangtua nya menyinggung anak orang lain yang lebih sukses. Anak merasa tersindir dan hasilnya pun jadi ribut dengan orangtua.

Menanggapi ini, Melly Kiong mengaku bahwa kalau dirinya menyinggung anak orang lain yang lebih sukses itu hanya sekedar mencari topik obrolan saja, jadi tidak ada niat untuk menyindir.

“Tapi ini jadi contoh kalau sebagai orangtua kita bisa melukai hati anak tanpa kita sadari,” kata Melly Kiong.

Inilah pentingnya menjadi orangtua yang mandiri. Menurut Melly Kiong menjadi lansia yang produktif itu bukan soal anak tidak mau disusahkan, tapi demi kebaikan anak. Cara menjadi orangtua mandiri bisa dengan mulai berasuransi ataupun mencari passive income (misalnya dari memberi kos-kosan).

Sebagai orangtua, percayalah bahwa anak juga pasti menginginkan yang terbaik untuk orangtuanya.

 

Ingat, uang itu adalah benda yang netral. Sama seperti sebuah pisau, uang bisa menjadi hal yang baik atau buruk itu tergantung pada orang yang menggunakan. Maka, kalau mau hubungan orangtua dan anak tidak tergantung pada uang, ajarkanlah anak bahwa mereka tetap berharga meskipun mungkin tidak sukses secara finansial.

Jadilah orangtua yang mandiri supaya anak punya kebebasan.

 

Dengarkan versi full dari talk-show ini dengan klik link di bawah ini https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uulCRCS-X3c&t=7s

Parents’ Money is The Children’s Money, Is it True?

Melly Kiong starts by telling the story of a rich father. The father has 6 children whom all reside abroad. One day, when the father fell ill, all of his children came home to Indonesia to visit him. The father was overjoyed and in his happiness, decided to give inheritance to all his children. However, when the father fell ill the second time, only 2 of his children came to visit him. The father became angry and disappointed for he thought his children were only nice to him for the money, and so he claimed that the inheritance he gave was only a portion of what he has. And so all his children came home again when the father was sick for the third time, only this time they learnt that the father had lied and there was no more inheritance to give.

The story above is one of many similar ones we must have heard along the way. Stories of children who only care about their parents when inheritance is mentioned or of parents who only think of their children as “real children” when they can pay the parents back financially.

Because as they said: money is not everything, but everything needs money.

So, how to manage money so it doesn’t manage the relationships within family?

Parents’ Money = Children’s Money

According to Maeya Zee, the perception that children only cares for their parents because of inheritance isn’t entirely true nor is it the whole picture. Because there could be other factors that is at play that others looking in might not know of why the children don’t want to take care of their parents before or after inheritance.

Conversely, Maeya Zee also believes that if the relationship between the parents and the children is good, then those children will take care of their parents regardless of whether there is or isn’t inheritance.

Therefore, the most important thing in Maeya Zee’s own personal experience is that parents must teach their children about the value of money from an early age and not to judge children’s worth based on financial success alone.

Children’s Money = Parents’ Money?

If there are children who are only after their parents’ inheritance, there are also parents who think of their children as mere investment. This means that the children are raised with the principle that in the future, they must repay their parents financially.

Growing up in this way makes children incredibly sensitive when their parents mentions that other people’s children are more successful in any way. The children feel as though they aren’t enough and thus will argue with their parents.

In respond to this, Melly Kiong confesses that when she mentions other people’s children being successful, she is only trying to find a conversation topic and in no way is trying to compare her children.

 “However, this is an example that as parents, we may have hurt our children’s feeling without knowing,” says Melly Kiong.

This is the importance of being independent parents. Melly Kiong thinks that being a productive parents/elderly is not about children not wanting to be burdened, but for the children’s sake. One of the many ways to become independent parents (financially) can be by having insurance or having passive income (for example by renting place).

As parents, have faith that children also want the best for their parents.

 

Remember, money is but a neutral thing. Just like a knife, money can be a good thing or a bad thing according to the people that use it. Therefore, if we want a relationship between parents and children that does not depend on money, teach our children that they are still precious even without financial success.

Become independent parents so that children can have the freedom to live their lives.

 

Listen to the full version of this talk show by clicking the link below https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uulCRCS-X3c&t=7s

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